As we get ready to ring in a new year, it is a great time to reflect on the previous year and think about our hopes and dreams for the year ahead. It's also the time we hear about 'New Year's Resolutions'; which are typically the things we decide that come January 1, we are going to change!
Let's face it though, New Year's Resolutions typically don't work! Often, we try to do a big reset. We may decide that come January 1, we have to drastically change many things. We might be able to white knuckle through these changes for a bit, but it won't feel good and ultimately it won't last! Or we may create vague goals, "Be healthier" or "Sort out my finances"... what do those even mean? Am I even doing it? Another pitfall is that we might set a big goal for our year, "Read 24 books"... "Awesome, I have all year!" and then December comes around and you realize you need to cram in almost a book a day! Where did the time go?
So how do we achieve all of these well-intentioned resolutions that we have?! Often our resolutions are the hopes and dreams that we have for ourselves and for our year ahead. They are wonderful and important things to have, but ultimately they may not be very good at informing us of how we achieve them. The title of this blog post is actually a bit misleading, because we are not going to try to white knuckle our way through 'resolutions' to achieve these hopes and dreams, we are going to create goals that build upon each other throughout the year to create the big changes that we want, and we may even enjoy doing it!
By utilizing what we call SMART goals, we can set ourselves up for success by goal setting in order to create sustainable and longer term change.
SMART goals are: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely
Let's take a look at how to turn hopes and dreams into achievable goals!
"Be healthier" (hope and dream but ultimately I'm going to be a little clueless about getting there in my day to day life)
I start by looking at my current life, are there any habits that I feel are unhealthy? Are there any health related goals I want to add?
I might realize that I'm only sleeping 4-6 hours a night and that I feel really tired often. I realize that I drink an after dinner coffee and that I just go to bed when I feel tired. So, after I do a quick internet search about recommended sleep needs and best sleep practices, my goal setting might look like this:
No coffee after 3pm for the next month. It's specific, I can measure it (yes/no), I believe I can achieve this, it is realistic for my lifestyle, and I've given myself a timeline to check in about how I'm doing and adjust if needed.
I might also add: Start my sleep routine (brush teeth, change into my pyjamas, and get into bed) at 10pm for the next month. Again, it's specific, measurable, I believe I can achieve this without too many challenges, it is realistic for my lifestyle, and I've given myself a timeline to check in about how I'm doing and adjust if needed.
At the end of my month timeline I might see that I've achieved these goals, that I am getting better sleep, and that I feel I have more energy. Then, I get to add a next "health" related goal using my SMART goals to build upon the progress I've already made, while I keep up with the goals that are already working for me. I repeat this throughout the year, and by the end of the year I will probably feel healthier than the year before. Mission accomplished!
Another really important aspect of goal setting it celebrating the achievements! You don't have to throw yourself a party or anything, but I really encourage you to take a moment to recognize when your goals are working, to notice your progress, and feel proud of yourself! This is an important step because acknowledging your progress and feeling the good feels helps you have fun along the way and create more motivation to continue with your changes!
And if you find you have some slips along the way, practice compassion! The reason resolutions don't work is because they often feel all or nothing. With goals we can have a slip and we can take in the information about it and we can get back on track the next time! For my bedtime goal example, there are obviously going to be times when the goal is intentionally flexed when I have an event with friends or family, or something exciting is happening or I am engrossed in a good book and stay up much later than I intend to reading... that's ok! Habits and lifestyle should be flexible enough that I still get to enjoy our lives while living in our hopes for ourselves. By giving ourselves some compassion when they do flex it is much easier to get back on track!
If this was helpful please consider liking, leaving a comment, or sharing with a friend :). Happy New Year, and I am excited to see how 2023 unfolds for us!
Please note: If you are finding a particular goal to be really challenging, or you struggle with any of these pieces, those may be areas that your therapist could help you with. This blog post is meant to be a helpful framework to create your own personal goals and is not a substitute for therapy.
Comments